Once the initial period of grief and chocolate ice cream ends, one of the first questions we ask after a breakup is, …
When can I start dating again?
Exactly how soon should you begin dating after being dumped?
When is it okay to dress up and go out to dinner on a date again?
When can you consider getting into another relationship?
When Should You Start Dating Again:
If you ask your friends, you’ll hear vastly different answers, and some of them will strike you as downright nuts.
The reality is that it’s different for everyone, … and it can be different from breakup to breakup.
There are several things to consider when you’re trying to figure out when you can start dating again in a way that will be healthy and productive.
Dating Is Not One Size Fits All!
A big red flag is the presence of anger or bitterness.
If you still spend quite a bit of time fuming over the end of your relationship, or going over and over old fights in your head, you are NOT ready to start another relationship.
You’ll wind up taking all that anger out on your new date!
Someone you’ve just started seeing should not be able to figure out how your last relationship ended by your behavior.
Another important (but so often overlooked) factor is your emotional availability.
If you’re still in love with your ex, or if your entire goal is to make your ex feel jealousy or regret, you are not in a good place to build a new relationship!
If, however, you rarely think about your old relationship, you are in a great place to start a new one.
Tie up loose ends …. Find closure!
What You Need To Start Dating Again:
A certain degree of independence and self-love is also required for stepping back out into the dating world.
This is especially true if your last relationship was a long-term one!
You also need to make sure you’re over your ex by implementing no contact with them.
When you’re in a serious relationship for a long period of time, your identity becomes so intertwined with theirs that it can be easy to lose yourself in the context of the greater “we.”
When the other partner leaves, however, that “we” is broken, and you may be left feeling empty or unfinished.
This is often when most people are tempted to plug another person into the equation.
Resist the urge to find a filler for an old dynamic!
Instead of falling victim to the need to find another half, turn yourself into a whole.
Figure out who you are without the input of another person, and let everything else grow around that.
Being strong as an individual means that you have an understanding of your own hopes, fears, goals and desires.
It means that you have a strong, supportive social circle (outside of your ex’s group of friends!), and the coping skills to pick yourself up after the stress from day-to-day life.
You should be able to tolerate being on your own sometimes.
If you’re truly strong as an individual, the idea of being single for a little while should not be a torturous one.
Desperation is your enemy.
Once you feel strong in who you are, and you can say with confidence who and what you value, you can begin dating again.
It takes two strong, healthy people to form a healthy relationship.
Make sure you’re a strong individual!
If you feel ready to start dating again … then we suggest you follow the link below and watch a great free video showing you what your online dating profile actually says about you!